No one around

At this hour,I guess I am all alone,no one to depend onto as nights are the time for people to slow down their paces in this fast-moving society,take a rest in order to repeat the whole cycle in the following day.I used to have such luxury, and I never ever thought that one day I can somehow lose my right or should say lose the inborn ability to sleep.Since I have no one to talk to at these hours,I guess I can only pour all of those frustration that I had been feeling for the past few days here before I really gone CUKOO....

For the past few days,I was having high fever which wasn't likely to recover for the next following days.I took medication like usual,not knowing that for the next few days I would be suffering like now.At first I thought the cause of insomnia was because of my 'Feng shi" problem,that as long as I applied medication to my legs and for the next few hours I would be dozing off soundly.God knows that I had been staying up for the whole night!! Everytime I closed my eyes, there was this heavy thing inside my head,that no matter how much I relaxed,I couldn't let that thing dissolve away and dream. Dreaming is a luxury too. But I never appreciate that...but taking that for granted,served me right..I seriously think that my biological cycle already turned upside down,but many times I doubt that I would be able to sleep the next morning,If I was lucky enough,I will..If not,I might as well knock myself out cold before my body system totally collapses due to lack of sleep...Sigh..........

No one can understand what I am feeling now.I am having migraine,my eyes are tired,my teeth occasionally sting out of reason and some unknown pain that occurs right around my tummy that comes tonight.... Sigh.....Maybe when you read this,you would nicely suggest me to just close my eyes and rest,but things wasn't so easy..I hate the feelings of tossing here and there on bed to find a suitable location to sleep and for god's sake I had been lying on bed for hours!!I tried literally every inch of the bed to find the perfect spot but I was always let down with disappointment..I even tried the couch in the living room,my room and then again my brother's room...except for toilets...(lol...so cold) Of course I can't be knocking on my parents' bedroom door at this unearthly hour,because I am pretty sure that I would get the same negative result that I always expected and get disappointed over and over again.

There was a saying that goes," The greater you hope,the heavier you fall' , so the conclusion is
DON'T HOPE. oh shit...It stung again........greater frequency than before...Lol..Let's continue with my complaints...I asked my mum yesterday to get me some sleeping pills and yes , the answer was what you probably had in mind now. Short and Simple.NO. Life was not a bed of roses..I had everything that I need for the past 19years...I had a shealter , had clothes to put on,had food on the table,loving families and friends,maybe not this time for HEalth....I know this sound depressing but this is what I am thinking now.Lol..good news..I know the cause of the pain of my tummy now.I forgot how little I took during the wedding ceremony and slept( technically lying on bed with eyes closed) Now running down my stomach with energetic fluid--->Milo...

OK,my fault again...But the problem is I DON'T KNOW that I was hungry...reason acceptable right? So frusrated,I already finished that cup of milo but the stinging sensation still lingers........
Really speechless...Aiyar.....nothing to do already,I already done what I can.

There were people out there who love their night times,which I don't specifically try to find out the reason whatsoever,but what I want to say here is I hate my nighttime,NOT FOR NOW of course..But if I recover,I would definitely love them too...My life is upside down now,most of the time,I was sapped of energy and every moment I tried my luck to sleep.If this ever continues,how am i going to university?HAiz...God knows.........